I've got a little list...

Here's my list - please add your own or suggest improvements.

If some day it should happen that a bastard must be found,

I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list

Of coalition partners who might well be underground,

And who never would be missed;

They’d none of them be missed.

The irritating Gove whose features all desire to slap

Who interferes with schools and is a most annoying chap

He thinks he’s mastered teaching more than those who qualified

He chops and changes subjects so that all are mystified

But he backed down on the E-Bacc when all others did insist.

He never would be missed, I’m sure he’d not be missed.

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed. 

The poor thank Iain Duncan-Smith for having much less cash

They say they feel much better as they share their ‘tater ‘ash

As they’re queuing for the food bank they all have a sense of doom

About what to do with Granny now they don’t have a spare room

Then they limp off for their medical as the Government insist

He never would be missed, no he never would be missed

He's got him on the list — he's got him on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed. 

The new health secretary the egregious Mr Hunt

Is generally perceived to be a nasty little man

He’s selling off the NHS to  private sector mates

So expect far fewer treatments and some much much longer waits

And just hope and pray the doctor will still put you on HIS list

That Hunt will not be missed, I know he won’t be missed

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed. 

The number two at Downing Street is really rather thick

Does anybody now admit to “I agree with Nick”?

He sold out all the students and he gave up on the sick

While David Laws was fiddling and Chris Huhne went off to nick

He used to have some principles but they didn’t get too far

But now he has a title and a most impressive car

But it’s ‘on your bike’ the voters up in Sheffield will insist

He’s going on the list, he’s right up on the list

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed. 

And over the Treasury young Gideon can be found

Struggling on his trust fund which is worth four million pound

He tells the poor they should be looking for a better job

While cutting back their cash and giving tax-cuts to the nobs

As he criticises skivers for not doing the right thing

He might have been a king-maker but never will be king

‘Cos off with him the country is considerably pissed!

He’s straight upon the list, he’s deffo on the list

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed. 

And finally the man who sits in charge at number ten,

Through Eton, Oxford, Bullingdon, he is a prince of men

He’s never had a proper job, or paid a mortgage bill

And with him in charge you’d better hope you never do get ill,

Or unemployed or injured or summarily dismissed

Yes he’s heading up the list, at the top of any list.

Well that’s my little list, what a shower of a list,

And they’d NONE of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.